Annie Croner:
Welcome to the Whole Assistant Podcast, where assistants come to embrace their badassery and discover how to show up more strategically for their careers, their executives, and most importantly, themselves. I'm your coach, Annie Kroner. Join us as we dive into the skills, strategies, and mindset that will help you unleash your full potential. Let's go. Welcome to the Whole Assistant Podcast. Y'all, I do not even have an outline for this episode, which I am okay with. I have been writing a lot. So I'm in the middle of writing my book, The Whole Assistant Book.
Annie Croner:
That's my working title. We'll see what the actual title ends up being. But I've been writing a lot about letting go of the need to rescue and about all we manage as support professionals when it comes to moods and whatnot. And I almost did not record this podcast episode because I've had a sick child with me all week, but I really, really felt in my gut that this needs to be said and that this may help some of you. So if this episode is helpful for you, I'd appreciate you emailing me at annie@wholeassistant.com to let me know. I'm just gonna be sharing something that will hopefully be a reminder for you and will hopefully also ground you and center you And y'all, we manage more than calendars and logistics. We often manage moods. We have to read the room.
Annie Croner:
We intercept team members when our leader's having a moment. We quietly work to stabilize things after a comment lands sideways in a meeting. We brace ourselves when our executive is about to overpromise and pull out the glitter that cannot be put back in the bottle. None of this is in our job description, and yet it happens every single day. And while some level of emotional labor is healthy and normal in support roles, the line between healthy support and unhealthy support can get blurred really, really fast. And if you're in rescuer mode, if you're trying to rescue everyone around you, either from your executive, or you're trying to rescue your executive from everyone else, it can be exhausting. And it can also have you acting from a reactionary place. And look, I get it.
Annie Croner:
I am an empathetic person too. I easily ingest others' emotions in a room. And empathy is one of those things that has a shadow side for sure. So I just will have you come back to yourself for a moment here. And I just want to remind you that it is not a part of your job to shield your executive from frustration, disappointment, or any other challenging emotion. It is not your job to help your executive feel better. It is not your job to protect others from a volatile leader. Your leader is having a human experience and those around you are having human experiences.
Annie Croner:
And so giving them permission to have their human experience also frees up to have your own. And if you found yourself in rescuer mode, it's largely not your fault. Many of us find ourselves in this place of trying to rescue others, either from our executive or from a toxic executive, or we end up trying to rescue our executive from other dynamics in the workplace or from shielding their calendars or whatnot from other people. And there is a fine line there because we definitely want to protect our executive's time and calendar, but there is a shadow side to that. There's a, there's a point where we cross over into controlling things that we can't control, like others' emotions, other states of being, and those around us. And especially in this chaotic world that we're in right now, with all that's going on globally and politically, this is your permission to take a step back and reassess. Do you feel in alignment with your role? And that's another thing I'll highlight too. Many of us stay in our roles way too long because we feel overly responsible for others' emotions, and we feel overly responsible for leaving someone in a lurch or whatever, but you have permission to leave, okay? I want to give you full permission now that if you're in a less than ideal work environment and you feel compelled to stay for a reason that you don't like, you can leave.
Annie Croner:
And I would highly encourage you to consider it because the last thing I want you to do is stay in a toxic work environment, stay in a terrible situation, and then burn out. And as many of you know, I suffered a stroke. I don't want that fate for any of you guys. So really pay attention. What signals is your body giving you right now through this season? Is this just for a season or is this the reality of the work environment that you work in, whatever your situation? So this is just a little encouragement for those of you in less than ideal work environments or maybe supporting a less than ideal executive. Or perhaps you just aren't a good cultural fit with your organization, or perhaps the organization is growing so fast and you are trying to keep up and you think it's something about you. The thing is, it's not about you. It's about the environment, it's about the situation, and it's about fit.
Annie Croner:
Okay? So here is me giving you permission to do what is best for you. And for some reason, I just feel compelled today to come on here and share that. You get to do what is best for you. It is okay to prioritize yourself in that way. You are not selfish for doing so. In fact, if anything, you're going to free up more capacity for yourself and more joy for yourself if you do not stay in a less than ideal work environment or working for a less than ideal leader. And you're also going to free the organization up to find perhaps a better fit or maybe to take a stance for the next person who will fill your role. And I have also supported so many executive support professionals who just feel like it's a lack on their part, like they aren't cutting it.
Annie Croner:
They feel like they're failing in some way if they take a step back or if they leave. And I get that. I intimately do, because grit and tenacity and perseverance and resilience and resourcefulness are high on my values list. And there is a line at which we cannot control certain things. The only thing we can control is how we decide to show up for that, for it. So this episode is specifically for my people who are struggling in their current work environments, are struggling with a current executive, are struggling with a situation that they feel they have no control over, and they are riddled with whether or not they should leave or stay. And I just want to empower you that when we take the leap, the net will appear and the universe or God or whatever you want to call her has your back 100%. I've walked so many many clients through the process of leaving terrible work environments, and it does hit your confidence in the beginning.
Annie Croner:
But then once you get some distance and space, you recognize and you realize that that work environment wasn't for you, and that is 100% okay. It is not about you in that situation. It is about the unique blend of who you are as a human and who— what this work environment offers. Okay? So if you're staying in a bad working environment to try and protect colleagues or coworkers, or you're staying in a bad work environment to try and protect an executive, or you're staying in a bad work environment because you feel inadequate and you want to try and prove yourself, you do not have to do that anymore. So that is my encouragement for you guys today. I hope you found this episode helpful. For whatever reason, I just felt compelled to hop on and share that today. So if you did find this helpful, please email me at annie@wholeassistant.com.
Annie Croner:
I've never had a situation where I've felt so compelled to hop on and share a message to the point where I was almost considering not recording this, but then decided to. So please let me know if this is you, even if you're listening to this several months or years down the path. I'd love to hear. Go ahead and email me at annie@wholeassistant.com. And I hope you find this episode helpful, and I hope that you are coming back to yourself in a way that feels powerful regardless of your work situation, good or bad. That is all for now. If today's episode gave you language clarity or just a quiet, oh, it's not just me, I am so thrilled you're here. If this podcast has been helpful for you, the easiest way you can support the show is by taking 30 seconds to rate and review it on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Annie Croner:
This helps more assistants find this work. And if you're ready for ongoing support, guidance, community, and growth that actually fits into your life, Empowered Seat is where we continue this work together. It's affordable, flexible, and designed for assistants who are done white-knuckling their careers in isolation. You can learn more and join at wholeassistant.com/empoweredseat or click the link in the show notes below. And until next time, go embrace your badassery.
