Why You Feel Guilty When You Say No


Resources and links mentioned:

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Check out the video transcript:

Have you ever felt like you needed to say no, but you say yes because you feel guilty? If you answered yes to this question, you're going to want to stay tuned. I'm about to share with you why you feel guilty and what to do about it. Assistants, if you would like more transformational strategies geared towards you, please subscribe to my channel and hit the bell to be notified when my weekly episodes go live.

I'm Annie Croner of wholeassistant.com, and in today's episode, we are looking at guilt, especially feeling guilty when we say no. The idea that we would feel guilty when we say no is based on one core belief and that belief is that assistants are supposed to be as accommodating as possible. This makes sense, right? Because it's literally our job to be accommodating and to help other people. We're getting paid to be helpful. So it would make sense that we would feel guilty whenever we say no.

You add to this the fact that most assistants between 95 and 98% are women, and that only compounds the issue. Women have been socialized not to rock the boat or to stand up for themselves or to be assertive or aggressive, or to say no. We really have been. So this makes total sense that we'd feel guilty every time we say no, like we're letting someone else down. Now I want to hear from you. Can you think of other thoughts or beliefs that aren't helpful when it comes to saying no? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Then how do we move past feeling guilty whenever we want to say no, or whenever we end up saying no. The answer really is all about managing our minds. Guilt is an emotion, and emotions are caused by thoughts in our brain. So we just want to take a look at whatever thought is causing us to feel guilty and deal with that. I would also have us keep in mind that being everyone's yes man is not helpful, and it's also not adding value at the highest level. So if it's not adding value at the highest level, you shouldn't be doing it. If it's not a part of your job description or really contributing to the overall team and the overall wellness of the organization, you shouldn't be saying yes.

Just bear those things in mind and realize that you don't have to say yes and that you shouldn't feel guilty for saying yes. In fact, a well-placed no can add more value to an executive and an organization than saying yes to everybody and everything that lands on your plate or everything that people try to put on your plate. So, just bear those things in mind and realize that it all starts up here. If you're feeling guilty about something, we need to take a look at those thoughts and get them out on paper so that we can actually deal with the emotion behind it. Hopefully, this episode has given you some good tools and some good food for thought when it comes to dealing with guilt around saying no. Now I want to hear from you. What was a situation where you felt guilty saying no? Please leave a comment in the comment section below.

If you really struggle with saying no, I can help you. If you're curious whether working with me in a coaching capacity is right for you, please feel free to email me at [email protected] to schedule your complimentary 20-minute discovery call. To continue this discussion and receive support from your fellow assistants, please head on over to facebook.com/groups/WholeAssistant to join our assistants-only community. If you liked this episode, please let me know by hitting the like button below. Also, be sure to subscribe and share this episode with your fellow assistants and administrative professionals. And last but not least, if this episode has helped you in any way, I want to hear about it. So, please leave a comment below sharing how.


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