How to Stop Saying Yes When You Really Want to Say No


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Reference to Michael Hyatt:

Check out the video transcript:

Do you ever find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Stay tuned to find out why you might be stuck in the yes trap and what to do about it. Assistants, if you would like more self-care and productivity strategies geared towards you, please subscribe to my channel and hit the bell to be notified when my weekly videos go live.

Hey, there I'm Annie of This season of the Whole Assistant Show is all about exploring the overlap of self-care and productivity. Nothing is more detrimental to both our self-care and productivity than the inability to say no. What I'm about to share with you has been a hard-learned lesson for me, and it's something I still struggle with, but it has also set the foundation for my continued growth in this area.

The first step to saying no is to gain some self-awareness as to why it is we want to say yes. Is it that we feel obligated to see yes or are we trying to make people happy around us? If this is you, I can totally, totally relate. Oftentimes I'll fall into the cycle that people-pleasing and it's really actually detrimental. I really have to catch myself, what is my motivation for why I'm doing what I'm doing?

This leads me to this episode's pro-self-care tip, we know we are people-pleasing when we do things from a place of resentment, instead of fulfillment. If you're constantly operating out of resentment, you're most likely people-pleasing, so just keep an eye on that and be aware of that. Now I want to hear from you guys. Why do you say yes when you really want to say no, leave a comment below.

Right now you might be thinking, Annie, I know I need to say no, but I don't know how. So I'm going to share with you my favorite way to say no. And it is Michael Hyatt's affirm, deny, affirm method. Basically how this method works is you want to start out on a positive note, so, Sally, thank you so much for thinking of me with this fundraiser, and then you want to give a very clear and direct no. Unfortunately, I do not have the bandwidth to help you with the fundraiser this year. Then you want to end on a positive note, but thanks so much for thinking of me and be sure to let me know how it goes and how much money you raise. That's it, it could be that simple. You start on a positive note, give a very clear and defined no, and then you end on a positive note. It's simple, easy peasy, and everybody lands on the same page.

I'm going to leave you with one final nugget, we say no, in order to make room for yes, there are only 24 hours in the day and we can't say yes to everything. We need to get clear on our priorities in life and in our careers in order to say no to make room for the [yeses 00:02:49] in our life. I hope this video has provided clarity for you with regards to why it is you say yes and how to gracefully and directly say no. If you're in increasing your productivity without losing your mind, click the link below to grab your copy of my peak productivity roadmap, where I'll walk you through the nine steps for a more productive day. To continue the discussion and receive support from your fellow assistants, head on over to to join our assistants only community.

If you liked this episode, please let me know by hitting the like button below and be sure to subscribe and share this episode with your fellow assistants and administrative professionals. Last but not least, if this video has helped you in some way, I want to know about it. So please leave a comment below sharing how.

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