Annie:
Welcome to the Whole Assistant Podcast, where assistants come to embrace their badassery and discover how to show up more strategically for their careers, their executives, and most importantly, themselves. I'm your coach, Annie Croner. Join us as we dive into the skills, strategies and mindset that will help you unleash your full potential. Let's go. Welcome back to the podcast. Today I have the privilege of carrying on a tradition that I have done for the last three or four years. I think I started this back in 2022, where the second week of November, I share what I have released or let go of over the previous year. So over this last year, in 2025, I'm going to be sharing what I have let go of. And my word for this year was expansion. And it was my word of the year long before all that happened this year happened. I actually created a vision board back in December of 2024, maybe January 2025, early January. And on that board, the word of the year is expansion. I also have all the goals that I had for 2025 lined out. I've got it posted up next to my desk here, and I have just kept that vision board where I could see it. And I'm really surprised at how much has come to pass. I have done vision boards in the past.
Annie:
I've hidden the vision boards away because I didn't want anyone to know what I was working on. I didn't want it to be very public, even in my house. And this year I took the totally opposite effect and I went all in on my dreams and I went all in on my goals. And a vision board is just your goals in image form. And if you're curious how to create a vision board, actually this month in Empowered Seat, I've been presenting the training and I talk about goal setting and becoming your future self and vision boarding. So if you want to join and take that lesson, please feel free to do so. The link is down below in the show notes. But today I'm going to be sharing what happened as a result of that word of the year being expansion and all that I had to let go of in order to expand into the next version of myself in order to meet that next version of myself. So the biggest change that happened in 2025 for me was that I got divorced and I had to let go of my marriage, which essentially meant that I was letting go of a dream. And I think that we were headed down this path for a while. We actually separated back in 2022. We got back together this Time we separated and we ended up divorcing. And I have to tell you, I think divorce is a gift for those of us who are otherwise boxed in or hemmed in or controlled in our marriage. And I would say that's definitely me. I think that my ex partner has a different understanding or a different desire than I was able to give him. And I also
Annie:
think that there was just a lot of controlling behavior and it just was not a good dynamic. So I chose my word of the year expansion before any of that went down. And I just find it so fascinating that I had this vision board. I had no idea what was going to happen. And it is just really fascinating how many of the things on my vision board have come to fruition in ways that I couldn't have envisioned or imagined. And a big piece of expansion I have learned over this last year. It was letting go of our old selves in order to make way for the new things that we want to bring into fruition, that we want to bring to life. As a part of letting go of my marriage, I had to let go of my home. We sold our house. And I had to let go of certain relationships. Some were really challenging to let go of. I currently am not in contact with my stepson, who I'd been a part of his life since he's five. He's 17 now. And so all communication has to go through my ex. And that is challenging for sure, because I love that kid. I love him like he's my. My own flesh and blood. I was such a part of his life for a really long time. We shared custody with Jose's other ex. And saying goodbye to my stepson or not having a relationship with him currently in this season has been incredibly challenging. I think also letting go of friends or the potential for friendships. There are several of my partner's friends that I am no longer in contact with because of the divorce. And then of course, family. He has a lot of really great family members that I am no longer in contact with or not during the season
Annie:
anyway. And so it's just been a really cleansing season for sure. There has been a lot of grief. And on the other side of that, I would also say that I wanted to take all the learnings from the divorce. So I was reading books on divorce and I was having a challenging time finding a book I could relate to because all of the books, you open them up, you're like. You're reading like if you're heartbroken and you don't think you'll ever Find love again. I'm like, not for me, moving on to the next next book. And I was reflecting with one of my best friends here in Denver, and I was telling her, I'm not finding any books that really resonate with me. Where's the book on joyful divorce? She said, annie, you're going to write that book. And I am not going to say that the season hasn't been without its challenges. It's totally been challenging. But I think I have developed the skills over the years of allowing myself to experience emotion, of sitting with the emotion, of letting it pull through my body, of experiencing where the emotion lies in my body and letting it pull through and then moving on. And so I've just experienced so much joy, so much more peace this year than I have in previous years when I was partnered. And that is just such a great benefit of letting go and also challenging. I'm not going to say it's not challenging, for sure. There is a grief that happens. There's a dying of a dream. There's the letting go of certain relationships and certain things. I think another thing that I had to let go of was my faith community. We found a church together and we started attending church together. And then when we split, I continued to go to church at our church. And like, during the peace, I would turn around to shake hands and someone would turn their back on me and they would
Annie:
refuse to turn around to shake my hand. I also felt like people were looking through me and they weren't sure how to approach me, so they just didn't. And that was really challenging. I think that is probably the most challenging thing I've had to let go of in this season, and I'm not quite sure why. I think I'm still working on that with my therapist. This one really hit the hardest, this letting go of my faith community. And I think. I think I just expected more. I expected better from my faith community and did not get it. So I'm currently in the process of looking for a new faith community, finding that challenging currently, but I know that I will land somewhere that will be good for me. I also know that this is going to be a new iteration of my faith too, right? Because when something big like this happens, happens, everything gets called into question, things get weeded out, and we have to face ourselves in a whole new and impactful way. And that is certainly true when it comes to faith community. For me, I'm grappling with it still. And so I will keep you posted. And hopefully I'm going to land in a great faith community. And I know that it won't look the way that I probably think it will look currently. So I'm on a journey. I'm on a spiritual journey. I'm trying to figure things out when it comes to that piece of my life. Another thing that I had to let go of in 2025 was I had to let go of the boxes that others had tried to put me in. I find it fascinating that the only people that told me that I should try and save my marriage were two white dudes in their 60s. I find that fascinating, as though I had not already done all I could
Annie:
to save my marriage, as though I had not given it multiple chances, multiple opportunities. I just find it really fascinating. And I think that people just expect that women should try and make their marriages work even when they don't work for them. Even some narcissism in the relational dynamics that I just find that fascinating. And I think I spent so much time and energy coaching my clients on how to have parameters for themselves, how to set up boundaries for themselves, how to be empowered to make choices for themselves and to trust themselves. At a certain point, the marriage just became like incongruous to all of those things. And I had evolved into this other version of myself that I really loved and admired and I'd worked hard to achieve. And so letting go of the marriage itself was really easy. Actually, it was a really a no brainer. But letting go of all the ancillary things has been super challenging. I think also the other box that I've had to let go of this year is like this box of momhood. I don't feel like I'm like other moms. I love my boys. I would lay down my life for them. And yet I have ambition outside of them. And I have a desire to make an impact in the executive assistant world. I have a desire to make an impact in people's lives and help them really improve their careers and empower them to make good decisions for themselves. And that has been a challenge because I don't fit in with groups of moms, especially now that I'm a single mom. So very challenging things. I am finding my group of people. I just bumped into a couple of single moms and we're getting together for coffee and we're doing all the things and I'm enjoying that. I'm also loving
Annie:
hanging out and connecting with friends that I really hadn't had the bandwidth to connect with when I was married because I was holding it all Together at home, I was doing the bulk of the parenting and also trying to make this marriage work. And so it was very challenging. And now that I actually have free space, my ex and I split custody 50, 50 with our boys. That has been really freeing. I've actually had more bandwidth to see people, to build relationships, to develop relationships outside of my primary relationship at the time, which was my marriage. So I'm very grateful for that. I'm also grateful that I am developing a group of moms that are also really cool and also authentic and keep it real when it comes to being a single mom and all the things that come along with that. I also had to let go of keeping up with the Joneses. So the house that we owned, my ex and I, was a beautiful two story house in a desirable neighborhood here in Denver. And we put it on the market and we had four offers within 24 hours, which in this market is rare. But it's a desirable neighborhood and the schools are really good where we are. And I tapped into what I felt would be best for me. I was going to walk away with a nest egg from the cell of our home and I landed on an apartment. And so I'm now living in an apartment. And I got to tell you guys, I am loving every minute of it. I don't have to worry about paying for repairs. There is a gym at my disposal, there's a pool at my disposal, there's a co working space at my disposal. We're on a second story apartment overlooking a beautiful park. There are vaulted ceilings in the apartment. It's really a reasonable rent. I'm about a mile away from where I was living before, so I'm in
Annie:
the same neighborhood, which I'm loving. I'm really loving this season of my life. I'm really loving all the peace in my tiny home. And I also know that for a lot of people in my life, the idea that I would move into an apartment and not buy a house or for all the people who actually are no longer present in my life, there again, these are relationships that have been cleansed from my life through the divorce. But I no longer feel the need to keep up pretenses. And I never did to begin with. That's the thing I never did. I think my former partner cared a lot more what people thought about where we lived than I ever did. And so it's really great to live into my values and to have things taken care of for me and to not worry about paying for all the repairs and all the maintenance. That comes with homeownership. I may eventually buy a house, but when I do, it'll feel aligned for where I'm at at that point in my journey. So now I'm just going to share briefly the expansion points. Obviously my word of the year was expansion, so I'm just going to share briefly how my life has expanded in 2025. This is a part that I've noticed delved into in the last several years that I have done this Letting Go episode the second week of November. But I will say that this year has been a true year of expansion for me and so I do want to share some of those points as well. The first point of expansion is building more meaningful connections and friendships. The people who stay with you when you are dealing with challenging situations and challenging life circumstances are the friends worth investing in. 110%. And I have had, man, I think of two or
Annie:
three friends here in Denver that have really shown up when I have asked them to. Even though I'm, even though I'm having people over to an apartment and not a house, they are totally invested. They are showing up. I had a, I had a mimosa Saturday one Saturday and had people show up to that. I reached out to a friend to see if we could go trick or treating with them and she welcomed us with open arms along with the rest of their group. So I'm, I will say that I am building more meaningful connections and friendships and community as well. I took up country dancing over the summer and I have been a long time social dancer. I've been a long time dancer in general. I grew up dancing ballet, had eight years of ballet training, did tap and jazz all through, all through my formative years. And then in college I took up social dancing, mostly Latin rhythm dancing, so salsa, bachata, merengue, cumbia. And I was looking at the schedule because I've got the boys. Monday, Tuesday there's this place in Denver called the Turnverein and it is a German dance house and it's in downtown, near downtown and I used to live a block away from this place and they have a different dance each night of the week and so I was looking at their schedule to see how I could incorporate dance into my life. And on Thursday night they have country dance classes with open dance afterwards. Also the turned run is where I learned to tango. So I'm very familiar with the turned run. I've been there many times. It feels like going home to me. So I was really excited to be back in that space. I Was also really excited to be back in a learning environment. And so I took myself country dancing one night and met this group of people that were just really great. So my instructor of the class that night welcomed me with open
Annie:
arms, told me where she takes lessons. I also met a few other friends that are part of that group. And so I'm very grateful for those people and I'm really grateful to have dance as a part of my life again for so long. For the last five years or so, it really hasn't been the case where I've been able to go dancing on a regular and consistent basis. And I think also leaning on my support system has also been tremendously helpful through this expansion. And I hired my therapist. I'd been working with my therapist long before I met my ex. And she has been tremendously helpful on my journey throughout this divorce process and also throughout this year and helping me really land on where I want to go next and helping me deal with all the emotions around letting go and then also ensuring that I don't land with a similar partner in the future. As I was like, this is two failed relationships of significance and I do not want to ever land here again. What is going on? And what, like, why can I not? Is it me? Like, what's going on here? And dealing with that sort of stuff with my therapist has been tremendously helpful. Also my business coach who has been with me for the last two years, Deirdre is her name, and she has also been tremendously helpful over this last year. So I will say that surrounding yourself with people who can support you and who can see the next version of yourself even before you can is a winning strategy for expanding into the next version of yourself and also will give you the courage to let go so that you can expand in the next version of yourself. Another way in which I expanded was by embracing peace. So in my home, obviously I'm living in an apartment like I mentioned,
Annie:
but my home is so much more peaceful now. I have obviously a three and five year old boy, so that they're a handful, but I'm not having to contend with an adult in addition to them. I'm not having to manage everyone else's emotional life and an adult's emotional life in addition. So I'm really loving the peace in my home now. And it's been really great to just whenever we have a meltdown, we get back online and we're on with our day. And that has been really such a huge blessing, I think. Also peace in myself. I was married for almost eight years. We were together for over 10 years. And when you're with someone that long, your nervous system calibrates to them and you know all of all of the things you have to deal with with them. And I'm returning to myself in a really meaningful way. And I'm also trying to recalibrate my nervous system as I do that. And that has been really amazing and challenging work and it feels really expansive. And I've always done really well on my own, but at the same time with my nervous system I'm like, I just feel like I need someone, but I don't need someone. Now is not the time to have anybody of significance romantically in my life. But I will say that doing that work on recalibrating my nervous system and then also recognizing what brings me joy and honestly having a peaceful space to return home to. I have never been lonely when I have been on my own. I've never felt lonely at all. It has only been in the context of a failing relationship where I've actually felt loneliness. Isn't that funny how that happens? So really trying to recalibrate my nervous system now that I'm on my own and knowing that there isn't going to be another
Annie:
hammer that's going to drop, that I am okay, that I will continue to be okay and reassuring myself and returning to myself and creating safety in myself have all been points of expansion for myself this year, I think also taking more risks with whole assistant to expand and grow my impact. So I had the privilege and honor of going to Ireland to meet with my business coach and our mastermind group. And one of the things we discussed was how I can increase my impact. And I decided when I was on that trip to create a membership for the broader executive assistant community that would be both affordable and accessible and would also be the most flexible way to learn and grow. And so I have been working with a community manager which has been really great to be able to create that membership for you all. And there again the link to the membership is down below. But that feels like a risk. And I have never had a lower price offer before. I've Never had a 35amonth offer before ever. I've only ever had, I think the cheapest I've ever charged for my services was like 1200 bucks for my group program and then 5k to work one on one with me. And so creating a way for people to have access to me and my coaching, creating a way for people to learn from me in the context of community, learn from other really badass people who I'm bringing into train for us is also very rewarding because I know it is going to have a huge impact on our broader executive assistant community. I think also
Annie:
so many of us feel alone, and I love that I created a safe space for us to show up and support one another and to leverage the coaching, leverage the discussions that we have to feel less alone. And that, to me, is so rewarding and so exciting. And I'm super excited to grow the membership and I have so many ideas for where I want to take us moving forward. And so I think also I hired a content director so that I could improve my social media presence. That's how people find me and that's how people resonate with me initially is either through this podcast or through LinkedIn primarily. So improving those channels so I can reach more people and have a greater impact even in my stuff that I'm giving away for free is also of the utmost importance to me because I want to be accessible. And so I'm working on ways which I can be accessible, ways which I can make my coaching accessible and so that I can increase that impact. I've also really, this year worked on my money mindset. I've done a lot of work around money mindset. So on my vision board, I had 700k, $700,000 in 2025. Now, I've never made anything close to that. I think the most I've ever brought in my business is 160,000. But I was determined to just have that number out there because whenever we've got an impossible goal that we feel connected to, our brain goes to work on making it happen, on manifesting it. I'm calling it to be. And I will say that through the divorce and through all that's happened this year, I have. I have exceeded half of that amount. I think I'm a little north
Annie:
of $400,000 total money brought in this year. And I had no idea that it would all come through the divorce and the sell of our home and all of those sort of things. And it's. It's really fascinating just to see what happens whenever we put something out there, whenever we have a goal that is a stretch goal, and I don't even care if I don't hit that number this year. That's not the point. The point isn't to achieve it. The point is who I become in the process of trying to achieve it. And I love this. I love an impossible goal, especially a money goal. And I have to tell you, even three or four months ago, I do not know that I would have ever shared that on this podcast because I would have been incredibly uncomfortable about having such a huge goal and I would have felt like I was abandoning my audience. But I want to inspire you to set big goals for yourself, even though you may not know how to achieve them yet. This is the part about becoming, and this is what I talk about in this month's training inside of Empowered Seat is how can we meet the next version of ourselves and what does it look like to become an energetic match for the next version of ourselves? And I'm all about setting goals, but anymore I'm about who we become in the process of setting those goals and less about the achieving of the actual goal itself. So I've done a lot of there again unraveling my limiting beliefs around money. Another thing that's on my vision board is fly first class only and I have not been one to fly first class traditionally. I think I may have taken one or two first class flights my entire life up to this year, but my brain went to work on how I was going to achieve this. So I got a United card that came with lots of bonus miles and it's my business card. So
Annie:
I'm constantly putting my business expenses on that card and I'm accruing all the miles. And I have traveled more first class this year than I have any other year. Not solely first class. Not solely first class, but mostly first class. And that has just been really fun to play around with. And it has also been really cool just to see how the brain goes to work whenever we have a large goal for ourselves or whenever we have something that just sounds like fun and we just want to achieve it. And so yes, I would highly encourage you all to create a vision board for yourself. Maybe even just sign up for one month of the membership so you can see how I like to conceptualize goals and creating that vision board for yourself. It has been hugely impactful for me this year. Like I said, most of the things on my vision board have come to pass, although they came to pass in a way that I could not have anticipated in a million years. Said no idea I was going to get divorced at the beginning of this year. I had no idea all that went down this year would actually go down. And I feel so much more aligned now. I feel so much more alive. I feel like I'm on my path. I'm really excited to inspire and help you all level up. And I am planning on writing a book next year, so I'm really excited about that too, and I'm going to be outlining it Q4 of this year. I'm going to start outlining it this week, actually, and so I'm just very excited for all that's ahead. And I'm excited to meet next year's version of myself too. And just to see where I take my life and how I improve and increase my impact and how I help you all succeed as well. Because that is a high priority for me.
Annie:
Okay, guys, that is what I have for you guys today. Be intentional. Be whole. That is all for now. Hey, before you go, don't forget to grab my free Strategic Planning Session guide. This stealthy playbook will help you and your executive find clarity on their priorities so you can make a greater impact. Go to wholeassistant.comguide or click the link in the Show Notes to snag your copy. And if you're loving the podcast, please subscribe, leave a review and share with another assistant ready to level up. Thanks for listening, and until next time, keep embracing your badassery.
