Annie Croner:
Welcome to The Whole Assistant Podcast, where assistants come to embrace their badassery and discover how to show up more strategically for their careers, their executives, and most importantly, themselves. I'm your coach, Annie Croner. Join us as we dive into the skills, strategies and mindset that will help you unleash your full potential. Let's go. Welcome back to the Whole Assistant Podcast. Today we are talking about your weirdness and what makes you unique and how that can be a total superpower and the power of being the odd person out in a room. Often I get approached by high level executive assistants who are supporting CEOs who are supporting boards, and they often wonder why they are in the room. And a lot of executive assistants feel like it's a waste of their time to attend these high level meetings.
Annie Croner:
And I think that it is very telling of the frame of mind of the executive assistant when that happens. Whenever an executive assistant comes to me and says that they would much rather be working at their desk than in these high level meetings. But I am going to offer you a different perspective today because I do feel like owning the room. Taking up space in rooms that make us feel uncomfortable can be a total badass move. And it can be our superpower if we let it. So why are so many assistants shrinking in meetings? Why is it that we want to disappear into the background? We don't want to stand out, we don't want to really lend our voice or our knowledge. And oftentimes we're in this room with these high level thinkers and it can be really challenging because we are the boots on the ground person. We're the person who's thinking about the interpersonal dynamics.
Annie Croner:
We're the person who's thinking about how any decision is going to affect the team or the interpersonal dynamics of a team. And oftentimes what ends up happening is that we stay silent instead of using our voice and speaking up when we know we should. First of all, I will also add that influence doesn't require permission. You can be totally influential in a group of people, even people who are quote unquote your superiors or people who are higher level than you in the company. And we can totally have influence in that space. And how we do that is by pointing out certain things that they may miss. When you are a visionary, you're often thinking about where the company is headed. You're not thinking about all the incremental steps in order to get there.
Annie Croner:
And as executive assistants, we are often thinking differently in those scenarios. We're thinking about all the Logistical pieces. We're thinking about all the ways that any decision coming down will affect everyone. And that perspective is incredibly valuable. Several years ago, Melissa Peoples, who is also a trainer in the executive assistant space, her and I were doing a training and she mentioned during the training that she used to work at Dell. And for those of you who've heard this story, I'm sorry, but I'm going to share it again. Dell at the time was planning on doing layoffs and they wanted to send out an email to everyone. And Melissa, in reading the email, knew that it would ruffle some feathers and knew that it would expose this plan to lay off a bunch of employees.
Annie Croner:
But instead of speaking up and using her voice, she decided to stay silent, just assuming that everyone in that space, in that room had actually thought about that, had actually thought about the fact that this would out their plans in terms of layoffs and in terms of letting people go. And chaos ensued. She sent the email as directed by her executive. But this is a good example of a time when it would have been helpful for Melissa to raise her voice and to actually utilize her voice to share her concerns. Oftentimes, there again, our executives are so busy, they're going at such a fast speed, they seldom slow down to think about everything that will happen as a result of a decision being made. Also, you are the bridge between your executive and the rest of the organization. It's just really good to know that, like, you're the one who actually knows all the information. People are not going to go complain to a higher up, but they sure as heck will complain to their assistant, and that is just good intel for you to be aware of.
Annie Croner:
So just taking all of this into account, when it comes to actually speaking up and using our voice, when it comes to being that odd person out, that is actually a blessing. That is actually a good thing because you are strategically positioned to be able to point certain things out to the team that your executive may have missed. You also can point things out to the executives that they may have missed. You're that bridge point between those two people groups. And so that is something to be aware of. Also, when it comes to owning the room and taking up space, what I mean by that is being grounded visibly in yourself. It doesn't mean that we're dominating the conversation. Oftentimes when I talk about owning the room or standing in your power with executive assistance, they get a little squirmy, right? They get a little uncomfortable with that thought.
Annie Croner:
And the reason for that is because we think that we are being braggadocious. We think that we are posturing in some way. Instead, I really want us to view this as being grounded in ourselves. I had a therapist once who suggested that I visualize roots going through my feet to the ground as a grounding mechanism, Especially when I was speaking on stage and not comfortable with that yet, or speaking in front of a group of people and not comfortable with that yet. It's just a good visualization. So when we think about being in a room of executive assistants and how we want to present in a room of executive assistance, grounding yourself in that space, looking at the things around you, bringing yourself back to the present moment, and being okay with being visible from time to time for the greater good. We aren't being visible to promote ourselves or to make ourselves look super smart or to make ourselves look super good. We are being visible because of the greater good.
Annie Croner:
We are being visible so that we can be heard, so that we may bring up another perspective that those in our space may not have previously considered. Okay. So that is the reason why I always encourage executive assistants to work on their executive presence, to actually be visible, to take a seat at the table instead of shrinking back and going back into ourselves from a place of discomfort. And I also understand that it can be uncomfortable. So it is like a fake it till you make it situation. Right? We want to fake being comfortable in the room. We want to take up space. We want to sink into that discomfort and allow it to be with us as we proceed.
Annie Croner:
And by being fake, I don't mean posturing there again. I just mean that it is going to take a bit of practice to get comfortable in environments in which we were previously not comfortable. I'll never forget, back in the day, I was working in a family office space, and I was invited to attend this event for family offices as I was looking for resources for my executive and trying to figure out certain pieces of the puzzle to manage his financial world. And I went to this event and, oh, my goodness, I was the only woman there. It was just a lot of bro energy, a lot of guys, a lot of investor types. And I had to square my shoulders and enter the room and be like, okay, I'm going to take up space here. And it is okay for me to be here. It is safe for me to be here.
Annie Croner:
It is allowed for me to be here. It's actually encouraged for me to be here. And I think also I have been fairly shameless throughout my career in asking the questions that I need in order to get the answers I need in order to be more effective in my role. And that is another thing that we can be intimidated by. We think that everyone in the space has all the answers already. So then we don't want to speak up and use our voice and ask the questions that we need to ask in order to actually be more effective in our roles. But the only way that we are going to get the answers is if we ask the questions. And even asking those questions can bring up a lot of blind spots for our leadership, for our executives.
Annie Croner:
And so that's something else to be aware of, because if you have the question, chances are someone else either in the room or in the company will have the exact same question. I think it's also good to acknowledge and to tap into your own expertise as well. Yes, you are in the room with all these high level thinkers who are experts in their field, but I'm also going to venture a guess that you are probably an expert in your own field, meaning that you probably have your own unique superpower. This is why I'm always encouraging the people inside of my leveled up program, the assistants inside of my one on one grouping and group coaching programs, to really know their unique value proposition, to know what they bring to the table that is unique to them and to the organization as a whole. So if you have a superpower of being able to see 10 steps ahead and be able to anticipate the needs of your organization and your leader, that is a superpower. And I got to tell you, common sense is not that common. It's really not. So, really tapping into that leadership piece, really tapping into the knowledge that you bring to the table and all of your expertise can also help ground you in your worthiness in the space.
Annie Croner:
And also when it comes to worthiness, there's a difference between being worthy, taking up space, taking a breath, being worthy human on this earth, and the value you bring to your executive and organization. And oftentimes we get those things switched around. We think that in order to be valuable to our executive and organization, that we have to know all the things or do all the things. That's not exactly the case. In order to be valuable to our executive and organizations, we actually have to have the humility to ask the questions that we need to ask in order to get the answers we need in order to increase our effectiveness in our roles. And worthiness as a concept, as a human, you just are worthy to take up space. You're worthy to be in that room because you've been invited to the table. You're worthy to be in that room because you've advocated to be in that room.
Annie Croner:
You're worthy to be in that room because your executive sees your value and wants you there. Okay? So that is why I really encourage you all to know, like, what it is that you bring to the table that is unique and actually utilize your voice in those situations where we may feel a bit uncomfortable or a bit trepidatious when it comes to actually speaking up. Okay. Another thing that I would have us all do that will help us to feel more grounded in spaces where we are typically uncomfortable is to do our homework. We want to know who's going to be in the room. We want to know the players. We want to know the priorities for the meeting. We want to anticipate needs and ask questions before they arise.
Annie Croner:
We also want to set our intention for how we want to feel in that space. So if you want to feel empowered in that space, instead of going down this rabbit hole of asking yourself why you're there, I think reminding yourself that you were there for a reason, you are there because you are valued and because your input matters. And even if you've just been asked to come and take meeting minutes or whatever, taking notes is also valuable. And then also actually using your voice and speaking up when something seemed off to you. And this is where that self trust piece comes into play. Developing and cultivating that self trust piece can go a long way in helping us know when something feels off, know when we need to use our voice. And so many of us, myself included, for many years, have overridden that inner knowing so much that we are our self. Trust is lacking.
Annie Croner:
So paying attention, going inward whenever we get that little spidey sense and actually paying attention to it and actually speaking up, even if it has to be after the meeting, even if you're getting something in during the meeting and you feel like something is off, circling back to your executive and using your voice afterwards can be a huge win for you and also be a huge win for your executive and the organization as well. So all of these things will help bolster executive presence. I had a podcast episode a couple weeks ago about executive presence, so please check that out. But I've really been thinking about the power of being the odd person in the room, the power of being the weirdo. And it can be incredibly impactful if we actually embrace that role instead of trying to shrink back, instead of trying to fit in, instead of trying to actually utilizing our voice. So that's why I love this concept of being the odd person out and being the weirdo because we are so uniquely positioned to make a difference. We are so uniquely positioned to have an impact. And many of us downplay that part of our role and are just in the room being silent little wallflowers.
Annie Croner:
And even for those of us who are introverts, I still think that we can cultivate this idea and cultivate in ourselves and inner strengths and a muscle to speak up to offer more value to our executives and organizations, even if it feels uncomfortable. So I think another kind of mindset shift that will help with this is seeing yourself as a strategic partner, not just a support person. Of course we support our leaders. Of course we support our executives and organizations and offices and all of that. But if you're a strategic partner with somebody and you can actually see yourself as that strategic partner and you can actually mentally step into that role of strategic partner for your executive, it will go a long way in supporting you and being that odd person out in the room. Okay, so I think that is all I have for you guys today. I would challenge you to test drive this in your next meeting to really step into this mindset and concept of actually being your executive's strategic partner, of actually watching out for pitfalls, of actually speaking up and utilizing your voice whenever you notice a pitfall or you notice something that may be missed in that space. I think it's also a really good challenge for you all to own the room and to develop this as a skill not from a place of trying to dominate, but from a place of self sufficiency and from a place of being rooted in yourself and from a place of being visibly present in the meeting.
Annie Croner:
Try that on for size. Please let me know how it goes. And feel free to email me at [email protected] to share your experience. That is what I have for you guys today. I will see you next week with another amazing episode. That's all for now. Hey, before you go, don't forget to grab my free strategic planning session guide. This stealthy playbook will help you and your your executive find clarity on their priorities so you can make a greater impact.
Annie Croner:
Go to wholeassistant.com/guide or click the link in the Show Notes to snag your copy. And if you're loving the podcast, please subscribe, leave a review and share with another assistant ready to level up. Thanks for listening and until next time, keep embracing your badassery.
