Annie Croner:
Welcome to the Whole Assistant Podcast, where assistants come to embrace their badassery and discover how to show up more strategically for their careers, their executives, and most importantly, themselves. I'm your coach, Annie Croner. Join us as we dive into the skills, strategies and mindset that will help you unleash your full potential. Let's go. Welcome, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me today. I haven't recorded a podcast episode in four weeks, which is unprecedented for me. I have skipped a week every now and then when life has gotten a little nuts, but only a handful of times.
Annie Croner:
So the fact that I missed four podcast episodes is interesting to me and it also speaks to kind of what's been going on in my life. So I'm going to pull back the curtain of my life. I'm going to share something personal with you all and and I'm going to do it with the intent of maybe helping you navigate something messy as well. So I have been navigating a divorce and there have just been lots of moving parts and pieces. Business has been excellent and so that's been awesome. I was recently in Calgary presenting a keynote. Calgary and Denver are very similar cities. Both big into cattle, both oil cities, although I think Calgary even more so than Denver, but just a lot of like western mentality.
Annie Croner:
And I loved landing and driving into the hotel in Calgary because it just reminded me so much of Denver and it felt like home in a way. And so that was a lot of fun. I met some amazing people. If you met me in Calgary, thank you so much for turning up to that, to the AAP event. Just a lot of good times. And then I turned around two days later and moved into my new apartment. So just a lot of moving parts and pieces for me. I'm not going to go why into why we're getting a divorce, but I will share with you guys kind of how to approach dealing with hard things in life and how to navigate dealing with messiness.
Annie Croner:
And I have learned a few lessons throughout this journey and I'm still continue to learn lessons. I am not by any means on the other side yet, but one of the lessons that I've learned is that while consistency is great, like it would have been great to have produced four podcast episodes over these last few weeks. Authenticity is better. So I'm showing up to you today from an authentic place and I'm just sharing kind of what's been going on for me and sharing some lessons that I've learned as I've been navigating this divorce with young Children. Children. I've got a three and five year old, both boys. They have navigated this swimmingly. They're doing great.
Annie Croner:
I think when you're that young and people say this is what life is going to be, you just roll with the punches. And that's been a gift to me. And I'm also very aware of the fact that they may have questions later on and I'm very aware of the fact that they may need a little extra support over these coming weeks and months. However, we are doing okay. And there just has been a lot of loss lately. There's been the loss of my marriage. There's also been the loss of our home, which we renovated a few years ago. And I helped design, I picked out the paint colors and helped put our home together.
Annie Croner:
I'm a big believer in actually going through and not around. And the reason I'm a big believer in that is that life has a way of circling back on lessons that you haven't learned. So if you want to maximize the lesson, you actually cannot circumvent it. You actually have to go through the mess. You actually have to go through the emotion. You actually have to go through the hard time and not try and short circuit it. Because when we try and short circuit it, we're selling ourselves short and eventually that lesson is going to resurface again for us. So in this season, I am all about maximizing this experience and allowing myself to experience pain and allowing myself to experience grief and loss and the heartache of it.
Annie Croner:
All right? Because if I weren't willing and able to do that work, then there's a very high likelihood that I would miss out on some very important lessons that I need to learn that will serve me well into my future. And it not been without discomfort for sure. I have experienced so much discomfort through this season and waking up in the middle of the night just really sad, not being able to sleep well, and all the things that you deal with when you're dealing with life's messiness. Right now, I'm going to share some lessons that I have learned so far. Not to say that there aren't more, because I'm sure there are. There again, consistency is great. Authenticity is better. And I'm a big fan of leveraging the mess for your highest growth.
Annie Croner:
The worst you're likely to experience is an emotion. And so if you can strengthen the muscle of experiencing discomfort and experiencing like less than fun emotions or, or quote unquote, negative emotions, I don't think there's anything, any such thing. As a negative emotions. But if you can allow all the emotions to pulse through your body and become familiar with them and ask them why they're there, what they're there to teach you, that can be tremendously helpful. I have spent a lot of time in prayer. I've spent a lot of time in meditation, getting quiet. And I have to tell you, those are the most uncomfortable times when I am actively choosing to quiet myself and quiet my mind and listening in prayer and kind of returning to myself in a way that is meaningful and challenging at the same time. But I will say that I've gotten to know myself on a whole new level.
Annie Croner:
And it's a level that I wouldn't trade for anything. Because to be with oneself is an art. And I don't know that many people have actually mastered that art of actually being alone with themselves. Because we have so many distractions at our disposal. We've got television, we've got our computers, we've got work, we've got other people around us, we've got our phones, which are constantly pinging. So there are a number of distractions that I could allow myself to give in to. And sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm like, I'm not going to watch any TV because I really want to get to know myself.
Annie Croner:
And then I reach the end of my day and I'm like, no, the TV's going on. And I'm aware of the fact that it's going on and I'm aware of the fact that it's taking me away from myself in this moment. And I'm okay with that, right? So really just that self awareness and being aware of what it looks like to actually experience discomfort and sit in the discomfort from time to time and allow yourself to actually experience the depth of the loss, at least for me anyway, in a divorce. And then also allowing others to experience the message, how they're going to experience it, right? Like, I cannot walk my boy's journey. I cannot walk my partner's journey either. People are going to experience the mess how they're going to experience. And while I can walk alongside and support, especially my young children, I can't actually experience it for them, nor can I protect them from pain, essentially. And that as a mom, is one really hard reality for.
Annie Croner:
For sure through this season in church this last Sunday, our priest, I'm Episcopalian, so our priest was talking about dying and death. And he said that our ability to live well is in direct proportion to our ability to die well. And what he meant by that was if we want to live life to the fullest, then we're going to have to learn the lessons that we need to learn in the small, destined life so that when we are resurrected, we can actually walk in the fullness of that new life. But oftentimes we actually have to allow for death before we can allow for life, or at least a life well lived. And that just really resonated with me with all that I've been going through personally, and I think it's absolutely true. So there again, if you can allow yourself to sink into that discomfort, allow yourself to get curious about it, actually ask it why it's there, and ask it what it has to teach you so that you don't make the same mistake again, so that you don't end up in the same position again or have to learn the same lesson again, essentially. So, anyway, I just wanted to get on today and share a little bit about what's been going on for me in my life. Obviously, I have not been recording podcast episodes a lot lately.
Annie Croner:
My new little place is adorable. It overlooks a park. There's a balcony that overlooks a park. I'm in an apartment. My boys are really excited about being in an apartment, which is so funny because we came from a pretty sizable house to this apartment. But they're loving it, so that blesses me as a mom. I also didn't want to get into another house because I didn't want to have to worry about maintenance. So I love that I'm an apartment building where if anything breaks, I can just call up maintenance and they will come fix it.
Annie Croner:
There's also a pool in our complex. There's also a workout space in our complex and a co working space as well. So, yeah, I'm doing well. But I just wanted to pop in here and share some strategies for for dealing with life when life gets a little messy, because we can turn that mess into beauty if we allow ourselves to and if actually we allow ourselves to sit in the discomfort of growth and the discomfort of the messiness. So that is what I have for you guys today. I hope you found it helpful. I'm going to be more consistent with the podcast now that I found my rhythm again and now that I'm feeling more settled. So please tune in next week for our next episode of the podcast.
Annie Croner:
Until then, be intentional, be whole. That is all for now. Hey, before you go, don't forget to grab my free Strategic Planning Session Guide. This stealthy playbook will help you and your executive find clarity on their priorities. So you can make a greater impact. Go to wholeassistant.com/guide or click the link in the Show Notes to snag your copy. And if you're loving the podcast, please subscribe, leave a review and share with another assistant ready to level up. Thanks for listening, and until next time, keep embracing your badassery.
