Swell AI Transcript: E50 - The Myth of "The One Right Way" .mp3
00:00 Annie Croner Welcome to the whole assistant podcast. I'm your host, Annie Croner. I'm an assistant who's passionate about our profession and I'm also a certified coach who's invested in your success. You come to the right place if you want to know what it looks like to stand in your power and achieve success as an assistant free from overwhelm and burnout. Now on to today's episode. Hello friends. If you are listening to this as the podcast episode comes out the last week of April, I just want to say happy Administrative Professionals Week to you. My podcast started one year ago this week. I posted the first episode and I just want to thank you for making it such a successful podcast. I am really blessed to be able to provide this resource for you. I feel like podcasting is one of the things that I love about what I do and it's one of the things I love about helping assistants because it helps me flush out ideas and bring you guys new and interesting concepts that will help you level up your game in the office, help you set healthy parameters around your time, energy, and personhood and just become an overall well-rounded amazing assistant and human. So thank you so much for tuning in. And I also just want to say that if you are here in mid-May and by here I mean in Denver, Colorado on May 19th, I'd like to personally invite you to join myself and Melissa Peoples. We are hosting an event together and we are just doing a day of training and relationship building with other EAs and it's going to be awesome. My hope is that it will be refreshing and resetting for all of us. The name of the event is EA Revolution, reinvent and reset. I feel like so often we just get stuck in the weeds. We get stuck in the weeds and we aren't quite sure how to get out and we're just playing this endless game of whack-a-mole and this is just a great opportunity for all of us to hit pause, take a step back, and learn strategies that will serve all of you. And so it's really exciting. We have been friends for a while now. It's crazy to believe that we actually haven't met in person. I'm really excited to actually spend time with her in Denver as well and we're also having like a little free meet and greet the evening before as well. So if you want to learn about this event you can go to wholeassistant.com. I will also put a link in the show notes. So if you're listening to this podcast wherever you're listening just scroll down to the show notes and I will include a link so that you all can get all the details on Revolution Denver. Okay, on to the topic for today. So this topic today is really short and sweet but that's okay. I feel like it needs to be addressed and what we're going to be talking about today is the myth of the one right way. The myth of the one right way. So our human brains are wired to desire certainty and predictability and there are two ways in which this manifests in our work life when it comes to how to do something. And the first way this manifests is in us looking for the one right way to do something. Now I'm a firm believer in best practices and utilizing best practices but that's not actually what this episode is about. This episode is about our brains and their desire to look outside of themselves to find the one right way to do something. So this can manifest as always researching best practices, always looking at what somebody else is saying that we should do, always second guessing your decisions because you believe that someone else has the right answer or you believe that there must be a better way than your brain is coming up with to do something. So that's one way in which this whole idea of certainty and predictability for our brains, that's one way in which this wiring can manifest is like looking for the one right way to do something and often looking outside of ourselves in order to find the one right way to do something, like the perfect way, right? The second way that this can manifest like this certainty and predictability drive in our brain can manifest when it comes to doing our work is entrenchment in the way you're doing something out of a belief that you are operating from the one right way. So I see this a lot with more established assistants who have created for themselves systems that have served them traditionally, right? Even though they may not be optimal, like they have found a way of doing something that they like and so they get entrenched into this and then they want everyone else around them to operate from the same kind of entrenched place when there's literally like a hundred different ways to do something, right? And so there'll be lots of judgment. I'm doing this the one right way. The other person is wrong. And so that's how I see the one right way manifesting often for us as assistants. And you guys, I get it. I understand it. And it's often rooted in perfectionism, right? And perfectionism is the belief that there is like one perfect way to do something. But here's the deal. Perfect is a moving target. It's constantly moving and shifting. There is no such thing as perfect because what is perfect to you may not be perfect to your executive or organization, may not be perfect for your team, may not be the perfect solution, right? And to be honest, there are multiple ways to do most things. Now as I mentioned before, I'm a firm believer in best practices 100%. But the reality is that based on your circumstances, based on where you're at in life, based on where you're at in your career, there are often multiple ways to do something. And I'm not going to say that all roads lead to Rome, but a lot of roads usually lead to Rome. So my like what I want to share with you guys today and what I want to encourage us all to do is to increase the trust in yourself. Trust yourself to make the decision while knowing that someone else may make a different decision and that's OK. Right. And I think also being open to feedback, open to change, open to new ideas is not a bad thing. I just want us to stay away from like this focus on there's this one right way out there and I'm going to find the person who can tell me what it is so that I can move forward instead of just taking the step and assessing from there what you want the next step to be or what you think feel the next step should be. Right. So we're going to have to trust ourselves to make the decision while knowing that someone make a different decision and that's OK. Also consult your gut like that Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder. I'm constantly having this conversation with my clients where they'll meet they feel like they missed the mark in some way and they're getting like this gut response and it's just like their Jiminy Cricket or their like Holy Spirit, whatever you want to call him sitting on your shoulder and like, oh no, that didn't feel right. There's something that felt off about that. And so what how I want you all to respond to that is not by beating yourself up or belittling yourself. I want you to respond to that by paying attention and then making a subtle shift for next time. That didn't feel quite right. So next time I'm not going to say that thing or do that thing next time. I'm going to go this route next time. I'm going to show up this way. Right. And just know that like the imperfection of life in decision making is just the reality. And that's not to say that we don't strive for excellence or we don't try to do better always. Like I feel like if you're growth minded, you can always strive to do better. You can always strive to do more. You can always strive to be better. But what I don't want us doing is beating ourselves up whenever we miss the mark or whenever we don't show up the way that we wanted to. Right. So also like as a part of that, we're going to have to have our own back. We're going to have to consult our gut. We're going to have to have our own back when we may not have made the correct choice 100 percent or we're getting that kind of spidey sense that I just mentioned, that Jiminy Cricket voice. We're going to have our own back and we're going to show up with grace for ourselves because it's hard to change for the place of abundance if we don't have that grace piece in place. Right. And what's so great about it is that you learn from that and then you trust yourself if it works next time, you know that you're going to make a different decision that will serve you, that will serve your executive, that will serve your career and propel you forward. And also, I think that sometimes we just need to pick a road. Sometimes we just need to pick a road and go with it. Spinning out or obsessing over which decision to make won't serve you and your career as an assistant. I'm going to say that again. Spinning out or obsessing over the next right decision won't serve you or your career as an assistant. So make a decision. A step in any direction is better than an action because you can always take a step backward. You can always adjust as you go. And I just I just have noticed this so much with clients and potential clients when they hop on a call with me, they're like looking for like the one right answer to solve their problem. Like there is no right answer. There's only the answer that will serve you. There's only the unique path that you choose to take. And then you have your back. When you misstep, you adjust, you you pivot, you make a little adjustment and you keep going. That's the reality of life. Our brains, especially as assistants, like we're so detail oriented that sometimes it's really easy to cross over into perfectionist land. Right. But what if there is no perfect solution? And what if there is no wrong solution either? What if there's just the solution that you decide to implement? So that is what I have for you guys today. The one right way can keep us stuck or we can be entrenched in our one right way that we've already found works for us. But having a broader scope, like taking it all in, like being open to growth while not at simultaneously looking for like obsessively for the next one right way will go so far in helping you establish trust, helping you trust yourself as an executive assistant, helping you trust yourself as someone who offers value at the highest level while being open to like new and innovative ways of thinking, new and innovative ways of perceiving, new and innovative ways of doing things. Right. So it's like the lack of obsession over the one right way or feeling like you found the one right way, like there is no one right way. So we're open to kind of hearing all perspectives, but at the same time, we need to make a choice and take a step forward. So it's a more abundant way of viewing our work. It's a more abundant way of making decisions as we're working. It's a more abundant way of showing up for ourselves, for our executive, for our organization, and ultimately for our roles as EAs, being always open to growth, and yet still making the decision to move forward and trusting yourself that you're going to have your own back and you're going to pivot as necessary. Right. So that is what I have for you guys today. I hope it helps you kind of move past this idea of the one right way, whether or not you're looking for the one right way from a perfectionist place or you're entrenched in your one right way and you're judging others for not doing it your way, whatever the case may be, I hope that this kind of brings to light the one right way and how we can move past it in order to live in abundance and in order to grow from a place of abundance and fulfillment and the idea that there is no one right way. All right, guys, that is what I have for you guys today. Be intentional, be whole. That is all for now. I help assistants apply the concepts I share on this podcast. If you're ready to take your growth deeper and you're curious whether working with me in a coaching capacity is right for you, please email me at annie at wholeassistant.com to schedule your complimentary discovery call.
